Saying goodbye is hard. Sometimes it’s so bad that it becomes a physical pain, like your heart is actually cracking and breaking, but then somehow you manage to put one paw in front of the other and keep shuffling through life until one day it doesn’t hurt quite as badly as it did the day before, and before you realise it, that heartbreak becomes a memory, forever locked in your heart and deep in your brain, then one day, you realise that the pain only becomes apparent when you think of the loved one lost. That agony that you thought would devour your very being is only a dull ache that lives within you.
And that’s how I feel about Thomas Angel today. I’m not saying goodbye to him forever but when you live with a character for so long that you know their thoughts, can feel the prickle on their fur when they feel fear, then it is like a bereavement when I have to step away to introduce myself to another character, one who I’ve not decided whether I like yet. I don’t know this person and want to run back to the familiar, snuggle into the comforting smell of Tom’s fur, hear the rustle of Claudia’s skirts and blush at a wink from Zachariah.
This new character, the one that I’m sure will grow to be my friend and act as a scar on the hole in my heart, is called Euphemia Moubray. I’m not sure where Euphemia will take me, whether our friendship will last a month or a lifetime, but sometimes you have trust those new friends will open your heart and show you something new that you could never imagine in your dreams.
So, Tom, I love you and your friends, but I need to explore new worlds and have new adventures with Euphemia. You will always be in my heart and if I miss you too much, if the rip in my heart becomes too painful to bear, I know you will be there to help me heal. Stay safe little one, and I’ll see you soon.