‘I’ve been busy.’
The words fall from my lips so easily, but the guilt and shame attached to them remain unsaid. I’ve been reflecting on the last year as so many of us do at this time, ticking off our achievement’s and ignoring the days, weeks or months where I did nothing. I berate myself for procrastinating, as though every moment of every day should be filled with something productive. But should I?
We are all human beings not human doings. Sometimes you just have to say to yourself, enough, and step away from the world. Letting it all go, include the crazymaker thoughts and the stress is, I think, the only way to be productive. Have I procrastinated this last year? Yes. Have I achieved what I wanted to? Yes. I published the third book in the Thomas Angel Trilogy.
And to be honest, I don’t have the bandwidth to keep up with all the editing and proofreading and decisions that come with self publishing a novel, along with the additional pieces of writing on this website, and the Instagram posts and the marketing that goes into a publication. So sometimes I need to step away and relax, and procrastinate, and go for long walks and let my brain unravel itself and inspire new ideas.
I believe in wintering, working with the seasons. When its cold and dreich outside, coorie inside and be kind to yourself. It’s a time to reflect and pause and look forward to Imbolc, spring, the season of renewal. So that’s where my thoughts are today. Looking towards spring, when the days are longer but still cold, the warmth of the sun not reaching my corner of Scotland until late April sometimes. And the new novel I’m working on (a prequel to the Trilogy) is slowly forming until like a bud on a cherry blossom, until it’s time to expand and grow into a fully formed story.
Everything has a season, even me.
V.S.MINOU 